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Lead Always…

LeadAlways

A leader is a leader, in all areas of life… at all times.  Leaders take the opportunity to create change and make the world a better place.  However, it doesn’t mean free from mistakes, but it does mean a willingness to accept responsibility and to take opportunities for growth.  

Leadership Isn’t Always Easy

This isn’t always easy, sometimes we get hurt.  

People think leadership is strong and tough and being in control.  Not always.  Sometimes, it is gentle and kind and it hurts.  And then it is gentle and kind again, and it hurts again.  Ask any parent and they will tell you how much showing leadership to a child can hurt.  

Lead According to Your Values

Leaders lead according to a set of values, principals and core beliefs that we set when we decide that we are going to be leaders in this world. If you don’t yet have these defined, I strongly encourage taking  time to define them. 

Leaders make decisions based on these values, principals and core beliefs and not whether other people “deserve it”.  Because, we are accountable for our decisions.  However, we also have to make decisions that are best for the organizations, people and homes that have been entrusted to our care.  

This can cause such internal confusion at times.

My Real Life Lessons Learned

Recently, I’ve been working with someone on a personal project.  Its been challenging, with timelines, scope,  and cost constantly changing without conversations or consent.  My questions are often met with defensiveness and sometimes even anger.  

I made many decisions based on my values, principals and core beliefs.  However, I didn’t always make decisions that were best for my family and our household.  I tried too much to minimize the drama.   For the sake of the project and others involved, I tried to avoid the conflict.  

I see more clearly the decisions that I made that were based on my values, principals and core beliefs and those in which I used my values, principals and core beliefs as an excuse to justify avoiding conflict.  Conflict isn’t always bad.  I allowed her to be disrespectful to me, our family and our home by not having needed conversations and by not setting and maintaining appropriate boundaries for both of us.

This relationship should have been a positive energy exchange and as a leader, I was responsible to make sure it was. Although I feel betrayed and sad, I’ll do better as I wrap up this project and next time to see where I can set better boundaries and have the needed difficult conversations.

Lead Always

In the end though we don’t change the world without being in the world.  And often, the world tries to change us.  But having a clear understanding of our values, principals and core beliefs allows us to see when to pull back a bit, especially while hurt – reflect and then get back out there.  Leadership is a beautiful opportunity to bring about change in this world.

Don’t harden though, don’t dictate and don’t let the world change you. Lead Always.    

With purpose,

Kelly

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Take a Step Forward

It has been a while since I’ve written.  Why?

I’m often plagued by perfectionism and constant overthinking, needing the perfect order, system and product.  Everything has to make sense in my mind before I can begin.  I sit.  I sit and I think.  I think and I think and I think some more.  And then, someone needs me.  I jump to the ring  of the phone, the beep of the email, the request of a child.  I get busy with other’s needs and I never have to worry if my work is good enough to put into the world.  

Self loathing and judgement come in here.  

At the end of the month, my perfectly planned goals are nothing more than perfectly planned unexecuted goals.  Then I get mad at myself all over again for making everyone else’s goals a reality while mine remain on paper.

Okay, this sounds awfully dramatic and I do work hard so this is only the worse case scenario.  I’ve accomplished many of my goals.  But, I still do very much struggle with the above and I do get stuck more than I’d like to admit.  The truth is, we all do.    

Here is a concept I want us all, including me, to remember.  

What really separates those that move forward in life, with goals, finding joy, or whatever the measuring stick is we are using… is simply those that keep moving will move forward.  Continuing to move forward once you are already in motion is a lot easier than having to start the forward motion over again and again and again.  

Slow and Steady and Consistently.

It makes no difference how fast we move forward, just that we move forward.  Don’t worry how fast others are flying by you.  Often, they just have a burst of energy when you happen to see them go by.  Slow and steady is almost always better in life.  I’ll only add the word consistently to slow and steady.  Let the momentum of consistency help you.  

Here is a new standard, why don’t you try it with me this year?  

No matter how slow or whacky or how much of a struggle it is, let’s keep moving forward.  It may not be pretty, but is it forward progress?  Think about all the first downs in football.  Scrappy works.  Think about Dory in Finding Nemo, just keep swimming folks – even when you forget where you are going.  

No more waiting for perfect.

No more perfect post.  No more perfectly planned social media schedules before I make a post, because well did you notice that I didn’t post anything for months.  There is no such thing as perfect.  As soon as we finish something, there will always be improvements to be made, so post it anyways.  There are edit buttons.  If folks judge us for a misspelling or for using a SnapChat pic that you snagged from someone else, instead of a perfect photo (like me here) – they are stuck and not moving forward.  Those of us moving forward at all costs understand the struggle and we appreciate those doing the same.  Those stuck are the ones judging.  Don’t let them keep you from creating your masterpiece.  

Remember, the plane didn’t fly on the first try.  

Try to fly yours now.  Let folks laugh.  Be too busy making the adjustments to notice the laughing and to care.  Eventually the plane will fly and then enjoy flying your masterpiece.  But remember, nothing is perfect the first time.  We have to put in the time.  Go put in your time.  Sitting and planning and waiting for perfection isn’t putting in the time and it doesn’t make perfection.  

Your masterpiece awaits!

People sit and are judgmental because they are stuck and aren’t creating.  Don’t be stuck.  Go create. By creating you love others with your gifts.  So, go love others and create your masterpiece one unperfect forward step at a time.  

With purpose!

Kelly