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Making an Ask of Others – 7 Tips for Better Collaboration

When leaders make an ask of another leader, there are many things that they need to consider.  Below is a checklist to keep working relationships healthy!

Give Enough Time

Give them a respectable amount of time to do what you have requested and if you are unable to give them that amount of time, at least acknowledge it. 

Remember, They are Providing Needed Help

Don’t in any way insinuate that you are doing them a favor by allowing them to do something for you. Acknowledge the ask for what it is and appreciate the interconnectedness that makes us better.

Entertaining Questions with Open Arms

Expect them to have questions, and if the turnaround time is short, expect those questions to come quick and maybe not in a sugar-coated way. You are the one making the ask in this short timeframe, and should have provided all the details. Think through the logistics for them, so they need to do very little work.  

Do the Heavy Lifting

Don’t expect them to do huge amounts of prep work, especially if giving little notice. Prep work takes time and they will need to calendar time to get the work done.  

Communicate, Communicate, Communicate

Communicate with them. Check in with them. Ask if you can provide support. You should do this in a way that allows them to feel comfortable and more at ease.

Ask via Phone, Maybe Email, but Never Text

Pick up the phone to make the ask. It may be faster to text or even email, but a phone call is always better. It allows them to ask questions right away while you are fully present.  

Don’t Make Assumptions  

Be kind. Our world has gotten so fast paced. Don’t make assumptions and if you do, always give them the benefit. Highly qualified leaders/professionals don’t have time for unprofessional behavior. Keep your emotions in check, appreciate people, and see your organization thrive.

These are just a few things to consider when working with other leaders and making requests of them, especially with quick turn arounds. These tips will make the situation easier for both of you, the process will be more efficient, and the results will be more productive.  

With Purpose,

Kelly

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Tolerance, How do You Show It?

We often think tolerance is a one-sided coin. How much more loving and better the world be if we saw it as a two-sided coin. 

We think people should be tolerant of us – our beliefs, our time, our quirks, and our opinions. Other people need to accept my schedule, my ideas, my space and even my mistakes. Others need to accommodate. When we think of tolerance, we rarely think that it only works when it is shown by all. I need to be just as tolerant as I want others to be of me. What would happen if we began to think of tolerance as something that we too had to show and exhibit? Tolerance and acceptance go together.

Respecting Names, Accepting Others

I have a diverse group of friends and I want to be respectful of their names. Names are so personal. I love it when someone calls me by my name. It says so much. It says that:  

They remember me and my name. 

They care enough to use my name. 

They are speaking directly to me. 

I haven’t always been the best with names. I used to excuse it by saying, “I am not good with names” and just expect others to tolerate my shortcomings. I decided that I want to stop making excuses for not showing others the respect of using their name properly.   

Avoidance of saying their name seemed reasonable until one day you have to say it and you can’t. Then what? I need to take the time to ask, as uncomfortable as it is, “How do you pronounce your name? “May I try it, and will you please help me if I say it incorrectly? I really want to say it correctly and honor you.”  

The first time I tried this, it felt awkward at first. I said, “Thank you for correcting me,” which was the wrong thing to do and probably made her feel not so great, but she practiced tolerance. She gave me grace.  

This allowed me to have some confidence when I had to do it again, and this time, I said, “Thank you for helping me say it correctly. That was really important.” That was so much better. Had the first tolerant soul not shown me tolerance, I wouldn’t have gotten better. Now, I feel great about opening up to more people, asking more and learning more. 

“Politically Correct” Language

Language changes so quickly in all spaces and everyone gets so offended when we don’t use the right language. Yet, when we ask directly, everyone seems to show tolerance and is thankful that we took the time to learn.  

Lesson for me, ask directly. People want to be included and no one wants the awkwardness of being excluded because we are uncomfortable.   

Don’t get offended when the right language isn’t used. We may know the language in our space, but the “correct” language changes all the time. Assume people mean the best when the wrong language is used, unless it is hate speech and then that is never okay.

Show Others the Same Tolerance We Want to be Given

I find that I am more tolerant when I am rested, fed and happy. It is on us (no one else) to care for ourselves in order for us to give the best version of our selves to the world. Our best selves want connection and kindness, I truly believe that. In a world that is fast, angry, and so crazy – be the difference. Be tolerant.

With Purpose,

Kelly